Praise God for FAILURE!

Perfection...society demands it. We admire the affluent, honor the successful, revere the accomplished, encourage the ambitious, and love the proud. And honestly, we reserve a special disdain for those who fail. Frankly, it is the fear of being discovered as a failure that causes the human heart to retreat. This retreat takes many forms, whether in fleeing in the physical, or through severe introversion. We who live in fear and abide in the shadow of imposed success cannot understand freedom. Who imposes? That depends on the circumstance. But looking at the beautiful women around me, and seeing my own heart, I found myself asking the Lord..."Why am I so afraid of failure? Who has told me it is NOT okay to fall down? Why am I afraid of punishment when I do fall short? Why is everyone so afraid that the consequences will always haunt their every step?" And why do I feel like a disappointment most of the time?

...Wow, Katelyn, that's pretty intense, don't you think? I mean, who all reads this blog, anyway? Do you really want them to KNOW all that?

Well, everyone, I guess it's official. Now you know I'm human. I say this with affability. I wanted to take the step. All that up there...I've struggled, really genuinely struggled with it. Thanks to Jesus, it grows weaker and weaker within me. For, in my weakness, He is strong. His grace is truly sufficient. And He has over come...my failures, yes, but MORE than that. He has overcome my fear to disappoint, my fear of man, my ingrained spirit of intimidation, my NEED TO PERFORM well so that nobody will think I am a failure. See, God is a really good Shepherd. And he teaches us with a firm and loving hand. When we sin, He corrects us, even going so far as to command us to "be holy" as He is holy. But he doesn't pen us in so we will never sin again. He allows us to fail. Many ask "why would a loving God allow me to...(fill in the blank)?" Oh beloved, He allows us to fail sometimes so that we understand that we do need Him. It is best for us to follow Him. And our following much be entirely based out of a heart-knowledge possessed by the follower. I follow Jesus because I love Him, because I understand that I am saved. I follow Jesus because He loves me. I follow Him because He is worthy to receive the reward of His suffering. And dear ones, the most beautiful reality is the I follow. Unafraid. Intimidated (yet, with holy fear). Free. Whole. Complete. By grace. Through faith. Receiving the gift.

When I do fail (it happens often), no longer to I hide, lie, run. Because I am just on scratching the surface of what it means to be truly, deeply, fully loved by the Creator of the Universe. He knows my frame, that I am dust. This is very good news.

And in turn, I am learning His heart for people. Now I no longer punish those who fail. I love them. I desire restoration. And I am just starting to touch on grace.

Thank you for your patience.
Katelyn